This idea is stuck in my head and I can't get it out.

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Re: This idea is stuck in my head and I can't get it out.

Postby Avolendi on Fri Aug 31, 2012 5:57 am

I think that it should be no problem to just give it our best shot. Waiting with stuff like this usually doesn't do it much good. As for what we know, I agree it would be better to avoid using the Troika, but those should probably not get involved anyway.
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Re: This idea is stuck in my head and I can't get it out.

Postby Mr Aerospace on Fri Aug 31, 2012 10:19 am

But, for now all I can suggest to you is to hold back this project until V3 comes out.

:shock: Did I just say that? What the hell? Sorry, poor form chaps :oops:
Allow me to adjust that suggestion into something slightly more workable.

Instead of barging in and exploring areas of the saga we know little about (such as the Troika), this story could possibly benefit from beginning in familiar territory while teething issues are sorted. By the time V3 is released and we discover some of the new subcultures, this idea will be up and running and ready to tackle these ideas.
Parts of the Sabbaton could be a good spawn point for example. As a hub of commercialism, (one area we should all be fairly familiar with) we can easily adapt our own experiences and insights to fit with DreamKeepers in Anduruna.
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Re: This idea is stuck in my head and I can't get it out.

Postby Clast on Fri Aug 31, 2012 11:47 am

Believe it or not, the Troika were never going to be in this. I only mentioned them as an example of the chaotic conditions present in Anduruna. And I am definitely not waiting until the Holiday season to begin. If that happens, then this will never get off the ground. This evening I'll present the PPC and setting, that way everyone can get a bit of their say in as to the situation and character.
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Re: This idea is stuck in my head and I can't get it out.

Postby Clast on Sat Sep 01, 2012 1:48 am

Whoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoop double post. Sorry. I said I was going to write up a description of the PPC, and I mean to hold that promise. However, I'll do this in a unique way, by describing a an outside character meet him/her (you'll find out now). Read on.

REMEMBER! This is not from the prospective of the PPC, but he/she is in here. I'll let you figure it out! (This bit takes place a few years before the time of this adventure...)

~~~~~~~~
Rain pattered over the stone tiles, left in poor repair by excessive use and neglect. The cobbled, crumpling surface shot strikes of pain through his sore feet, but he marched on through the drizzle, and umbrella held high despite the circumstances. The 'Keeper in question wheezed slightly, and rocked on unsure legs, his thick chins wobbling with a pitiful fear. He was unaccustomed to this area of the great city. In fact, he had barely ever been outside the comfortable leather chairs of Norvondire district, the very idea of the slums distressed his weak thoughts. He was a manager, after all, no common worker. Thus, he murmured disgruntled mutterings as he plowed his bulk over bad roads and back streets, hoping to find the very worker of his thoughts.

Dark shadows shifted under the cover of darkness, streetlamps not daring to spread their soft glow too far. In these barren alleyways, night had its way. The crossing of High Crest, and Beel's, a sharp curve too short for large ground-cars to enter, the road turned from rough stone to gravel, and then dirt. The houses were small, and covered in rags and filth. Whatever light had once been present in these dismal and forgotten neighbors had been stolen away in the dead of midnight, time and desperation a cruel thief, eager to plunder any materiel in its path. A abhorrent lamp-squid of the streetlights had disappeared years ago to a black market seller, or an exotic market; anywhere a few coins could be earned. The thudding, ungainly steps, and overcoat marked the businessman as an outsider, a foreigner in the back-ways of his own city.

It was there, on High Crest and Beel's, that he waited. Taking a seat upon a thick box, he mopped his brow from sweat and rainwater, and checked his pocket-watch. It was nearly a quarter past one. He was late for the meeting. Some time passed, the stress of the situation bearing down on the fat aristocrat, he could not tell how long. However much he drifted from sleep into consciousness, his safe living getting the better of him, he could not tell whether ten minutes or an hour had passed when he felt the knife at his back.

His umbrella dropped to the ground, splashing cold rain across his face. He raised his arms above his head, whimpering slightly. A voice hissed in his ear, cruel and biting, "Whats a big fat boy like you doing round these parts, this time o' night. Don't you know it's dangerous?" He was pulled back to his feet by rough and careless hands, pushing him up and over, a dark figure loomed over him.

Quick as a flash, the thug's leg shot out, slamming the trespasser in his wide stomach. He keeled over, clutching his aching gut, bile rising in his throat. Uncaring rain increased in intensity and splattered his back, no sympathy lied in these streets. His besieger spoke again.

"What've you got, big man? A pocketbook? A wallet?" He crouched low, to meet the man at eye level, "You know what I need. Money. Let's make this quick, and I don't have to take this any farther. 'Cause you know, fat man, that I could." In the half light and blackness he flashed a cruel smile at the foreigner, dumbfounded and groaning on the wet mud. Rising to shaking knees, the businessman pulled out his pocketbook, thick fingers fighting their way inside for the unsoiled marks, like a worm digging in the soil. He returned with a fistful, and pushed it towards his assault, speechless, stupefied.

The offering, as if to a dark god, was received with another kick. The attacker turned from the scene and ran, bolting through the street corner, back to the darkness from where he appeared. Back on High Crest and Beel's, the stooped figure vomited, then wept, before climbing once more to his feet. His labor was rewarded with a distant scream, a howl of terrible agony that rushed out from the blackest void the terror-filled streets had to offer. Unluckily, it was close by, and as if from suspense, the rain began to die out, leaving only mud and darkness in its wake.

Too terrified to move, or perhaps too stupefied, the trespasser of the slums huddled in his ruined overcoat at the sound of approaching footsteps. Another 'Keeper appeared, in the distance. He walked with a measured pace, practiced, efficient. You could tell form his stance that he knew these streets, this black hole of chaos. He stopped, and lit a hand-rolled cigarette, pulled from a disheveled pocket. From the other, the businessman's spent marks,slightly crumbled and damp. Confused, the gift was taken, gingerly, searching for a threat pr reason to flee. The businessman stammered, "A-are y-you Mr. Eddie P-Prike?" The newcomer emitted a sigh.

"Yeah. And I'll be needing the bankroll back now. I found out what you wanted." His cigarette lit his face with each pull, a rough sculpture carved from experience and endurance. This thought crossed the businessman's face, as quickly as his ledgers. "Oh, I see. Here you are. Right...what did you find out?" The newcomer took back the crumpled marks, and scooped the now torn umbrella from the ground. In the distance, the very edges of the sun's glow began to creep up and over the horizon, but darkness still ruled. The response came without pity or emotion. "Yes. Your wife is seeing another man. Quite often. In fact, right now is one of those times; that's why I'm later, sorry. The only other question is what's the next step? You want me to dig up a hit man?"

The businessman's face drooped into a deeper frown of pain. He sniffed. "No, that won't be necessary. Thank you Mr. Prike. I will not be needing that. Now, I believe, I shall return home. This only confirmed my suspicions.Good evening." Both men went their separate ways, and returned to their respective worlds, away from the night on High Crest and Beel's.

~~~~~~~~

Soooo...can you sleuth it out as to which one the PPC is? Which would you prefer? What about the style? Thoughts, comments, criticism, suggestions, whatever!
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Re: This idea is stuck in my head and I can't get it out.

Postby Reed R Gale on Sat Sep 01, 2012 2:44 am

Mr. Prike, the thug, or the businessman. Interesting.

Mr. Prike seems interesting as a character, what does he want, and why is he sleuthing this wife? Is there more to this than meets the eye? He seems like a man that's doing most of the footwork.

Who is this businessman? What is his job? Does he have a day job? Why was he so uninformed of the area he was coming to? What is his wife doing? He seems to be doing most of the "being affected" in the story.

I could see the thug tied in somehow, but only as a minor role.

You're making it hard to make jokes. :P

Let's be Prike.
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Re: This idea is stuck in my head and I can't get it out.

Postby Mr Aerospace on Sat Sep 01, 2012 9:47 am

Nice hook!
But first lets get discussions into the headless room, keep this character study nice and clean. Clast, if start up a topic, we can slowly delete posts one by one to get back to the start of the story. (stuff can be reposted there)

I'm interested in how Mr. Prike meets and takes on that kind of (let alone any) clientele. I'd have thought Private Investigating would have been made just as criminal as armed robbers, considering who's pulling strings. Corrupting and subverting the City Guard is one thing, controlling independent investigators is nigh on impossible - Logical conclusion: Make it illegal.

On a different note, possible former detective?
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Re: This idea is stuck in my head and I can't get it out.

Postby Avolendi on Sat Sep 01, 2012 1:57 pm

Since it's an observer perspective, all characters mentioned are possible. Only the person describing the events is excluded by your statement at the start.

Mr Prike seems like the first choice, being an underworldly kind of detective and assassin. He appears good at what he does, both in gathering information as well as in dealing with ruffians. He probably has some reputation to uphold which is why he doesn't simply rob the other man. It could hurt future clientele after all. Seems like a intriguing character.

However since I think you want to put people on the wrong foot, I expect that the it's the business man. Being a former rich individual, swept away on lower tidings does give sufficient potential. There is also that part that him being so unknowing, his entire character is still undefined.
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Re: This idea is stuck in my head and I can't get it out.

Postby Clast on Sun Sep 02, 2012 2:56 pm

Normally I would just announce the real character, but reading everyone's response I'm second guessing myself as to which of three I'll be using. I could always use all of them, and have several intertwining plots revolving around each other. How does that sound, letting you guys choose which to focus on at any given time?
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Re: This idea is stuck in my head and I can't get it out.

Postby Clast on Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:57 pm

Ugh, again with double post. However, I don't really care.

Anywho, I will be most likely starting this off sometime over this weekend or the following week. Just keep your eyes peeled, people.
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Re: This idea is stuck in my head and I can't get it out.

Postby Reed R Gale on Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:18 pm

Ew. Peeling eyes.
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