Suraru's Long long looooong backstory

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Re: Suraru's Long long looooong backstory

Postby Reed R Gale on Wed Jun 08, 2011 7:54 pm

Lets all grow to be good writers together :D
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Re: Suraru's Long long looooong backstory

Postby Suraru on Wed Jun 08, 2011 8:06 pm

...he says while probably timing a beat-map..
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Re: Suraru's Long long looooong backstory

Postby Reed R Gale on Wed Jun 08, 2011 8:14 pm

Reed R Gale is actually making a beatmap right now, he's past the timing phase.
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Re: Suraru's Long long looooong backstory

Postby Twilight on Thu Jun 09, 2011 1:31 am

Suraru wrote:ya, but most times i dont have time :P


Man, if ever there was a time to be blunt. . . this is it. . . Dude, if you have time to write all that, you have time to proof read. If you don't put the effort into proofing as you do for writing it, then that tells me you don't actually really care. Proofing is at writing's core. Professional novel writers and even indies like David proof all the time. They're putting the time and effort into making sure they've got something of quality. Forgetting to do that and giving excuses just makes you look bad and communicates that you're not actually that invested into making this a quality piece.
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Re: Suraru's Long long looooong backstory

Postby Suraru on Fri Jun 10, 2011 1:56 pm

dangit twi quit being so right!

but no really, i wrote them, was to lazy to proof read them (i was going to do cuz this story has zipped in my mind for the past few years), but then i got super busy, notice how my activity has dropped big time, and how late i was to my favorite part of thursday (the chat)

if you want to know i got a online job doing html, and my employer insist i watch these 6hr videos, and i have to do a test on them later today.

for some reason, the vidoes had nothing about html that i could see, other then they probably had html coding somewhere in them. (it was a looooong documentary of the games call of duty, minecraft, and mario)

so before i have to do this stuff and meet him, i am going to try and quickly proofread it.
it would be faster if my word worked...
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Re: Suraru's Long long looooong backstory

Postby Suraru on Tue Jun 21, 2011 10:46 pm

well i have no reason NOT to edit them, so im not going to because of my laziness.

BUT i will continue to write it, with my best attempt at good grammar... wish me luck, i am not using my auto-correcting phone

the next segment takes place further in the future, i will fill in the large timeline gap later, but this idea just formed in my head while going to the restroom, and seeing a bug. ya i know
as it normally happens, i will began writing the basic idea, then elaborate on it, adding more as i type
this may be considered fan-fiction, because it is very arguably "cannon" just bordering the non-cannon line, about ready to fall off with twi's push of reality... :? here it goes

Setting: Sabbaton Tower, Suraru is in his early 16th year, working for Sabbaton as a secret guard, for a secret project, of secretness.
Told from Suraru's point of view, he is just getting off from training, his friends have already left, Suraru is alone, and begins to leave the underground of Sabbatton...


As I throw on my coat and begin to leave, I quickly organize my gear. I think to myself "Ya, that looks good" and start to leave the combat training room. Before I can reach the door I am slammed from the side by someone else. I look up, and see a red-furred person look down on me, wearing a trench coat. At first I think its Michael, but I quickly change my mind seeing him pull a weapon from the coat.

I quickly roll away, dodging it, and I stand myself up. In my fighting stance. He looks at me, I get a good look at his face, definitely not Micheal. He moves toward me, drops his coat, and starts swinging blades at me. No more pauses, he is fast with his arms, I get slashed a few times in my arms and legs, once in my side.

My dodging sucks, so I grab a nearby chair and throw it, it hits the little f***** and I grab my weapon off of the desk, point, and get it knocked out of my hands. From there I realize I'm screwed, as he begins wailing on my with his fists. I hit the floor, and brace for more punches, my lip is bleeding pretty bad.

He racks me pretty hard and I can barely move my legs now. I look down and see him with his blade again, about to deal a finishing blow. Right there it hit me, why the ****, am I not using my power? I summon an air gust and push him back. With whats left of my strength, I get up using the the desk for support.

The attacker runs up to me, he drops his weapons, and i try to dodge his incoming attacks. I fail, and I'm pushed against the wall, face first. "What is your problem?" I yell, he replies with his deep voice "Your about to join something that you will regret" He throws me to the floor, and kicks me into the firing range. I cough and reply as i get up "So your going to kill me?" My head is throbbing with blood, as i start to panic. My eyes dart around looking for to help me.

I keep hoping someone will enter the room.
------------------
(From other people's point of view)

"Did you hear that?" said one of the directors. "Yes, Suraru is still in there training" said the other. "Making lots of noise" said the first one again "Ya, he is kind of the loud one sometimes" "And it appears the slow one also, hehehe."
-----------------------
(Back to Suraru)

I start walking back as my unnamed attacker quickly walks toward me. I get cornered at the wall, I grab a target and throw it, the flowood misses him. He extends his arm and starts to choke me, I kick him, but it's not working. I can see everything start to get blurry from my tears. My throat starts to make wheezing sounds, and it feels like twenty minutes just passed, and then twenty more, and more.

When i woke up i was very confused, my throat hurt, so did most of my body, i was on the floor of the training room, in a corner. I tried to stand up, but that was a bad idea. It started to come back to me, i was being choked, why did he let me go? I just laid there, and waited about half and hour. I finally got up, and walked out. Two directors were stand there "Suraru? Are you ok? You look hurt" one of them said, i was mad, i replied with "YES! I am freakin hurt, I was attacked, you didn't notice me yelling!?!?!"

They gave me medical support and quietly alerted all of Sabbaton for a red dreamkeeper in either a dark leotard, or a trench coat. I laid back in my bed after an hour long treatment, I was attacked two hours ago, its dark out, no way they'll catch him. I feel asleep, thinking of the battle, and being happy I had the next week off =).



I hope you enjoyed it, i actually tried and i think i did pretty good at the grammar. the only time i re-read it, was pressing CRTL + F and fixing all of the I's, so i did not re-read the entire story.

you'll eventually figure out who micheal is, and i should point out, suraru wasnt even able to properly throw a punch, when he was at his fighting stance, he threw probably one or two before getting the tar beat out of him.

please please, critique the story and point out anything wrong with it.
and twi, im not officially claiming this as cannon material, unless dave decides to read this and add in a secret service like military to sabbaton :D
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Re: Suraru's Long long looooong backstory

Postby Suraru on Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:06 pm

ok, since im going to be banned, im going to quickly post the rest of my character's story

i think i left off after he discovered his power, and ill will attempt good grammar, and sorry to the guys who sent me grammar checks that i never posted!

(the springer shot was supposed to be in his leg btw)

As the year passed by, Suraru became more and more depressed. Finally his 14th year came around, his leg had healed, but a noticeable limp was still present. Kiki was getting bigger, and more dangerous. The Orange cat's fur had begun to turn more of a brownish tint, probably to his strong attachment to Kiki.

This year Suraru had began to grow through puberty, finding his first crush with a girl. Sadly, the school year ended before he had a chance to talk to her. Suraru hated himself for loosing contact of her, he spent his summer just laying down with a data scroll, wasting it away. Kiki had begun to grow bigger, and out of shape.

Suraru had many experiences online, some not to go into detail. Time came soon enough for his second year at the place he hated most. (Junior) High school. This year was not so different, he was picked on, feel in love, heart broken when she moved, the usual. However, Suraru was able to find a girlfriend, it did not last long. In his sorrow, he met another girl, she moved away.

Luckily for Suraru, one of the... looser types, was single, and the brown cat got lucky. Until he figured out she was cheating on him. It was kinda obvious, but he didnt care. Summer came around, Suraru was 15 now.

This Summer he went back to his hideout in the forest. Suraru got in shape, as did Kiki as they explored more caves, trees and other things. Summer was shorter this time, and before he knew it, Suraru was back in school. He rebelled this time though.

Suraru was sick of this poor education, he had learned most of this stuff from the data scrolls. Suraru began skipping classes, sleeping in the airducts. Thanks to being close to Ruskol, Suraru knew how to talk his teachers into letting him pass, barely.

Summer came around again, Suraru had been getting lucky with more girls, better ones, But he could not keep them. The tall brown/red cat had turned 16, and Kiki had shrunk down a bit more. One day, he was caught sneaking through the walls and around the forest. He was brought in for questioning.

After strange interrogations, and sharing information of his findings in the forest, they let him go. Suraru lived a normal life, staying away from the Skywalls. Summer ended once again, Suraru deciding not to attended school this time, the government however, did not agree.

While Suraru was sleeping, the came and captured him around 1pm. They told him he had three choices, go to school, or learn how to fight and join a squad of teens like himself. Without even hearing the last one, Suraru join this squad. They taught him how to fight, use weapons, and gave him a team.

In his team his best friend, Andy, would be the leader. His rival in his early years, Micheal, is a demolitions expert because of his newly discovered explosive power, and finally, a healing girl named Emily. Suraru fell in love with Emily. After a few missions later (and an attempted attack), They sent Suraru to other cities. The team was confused there were other cities.

The blended in and stole technology and other things. One day, he enjoyed his break by exploring the forest with Kiki again. They found a cave, and they went inside. Suraru got lost, and when he figured out where he was, large larva likes things attacked him, Kiki tried to fight but was crushed against a wall.

Suraru was able to grab his friend, and flee from the cave, smashing his arms multiple times flying in the cave. Suraru flew back to the city, tears in his eyes, but he painfully accepted that his best friend would probably not make it. By the time he got to a vet, Kiki was dead.

Saddest day in Suraru's life, He ordered the burning of the cave, and sat there watching it burn. Then he buried his ryuu's body among the ruins. RIP Kiki (also my cats name, RIP).

Eventually, with the confusing deaths, Suraru was sent to kill a bandit in the city limits. Suraru tracked the "bandit" all the way to the forest. He overheard him talking about his best friend death. Suraru checked his information and knew he didnt kill the girl.

Suraru didnt kill him, and got in trouble. Later, things were going crazy, Suraru had no idea what was happening. They told him to ignore the news, and go to this strange stronghold way off into the distance. When the team got to the nightmare ( :o ) fortress, there stealth didnt last long.

Micheal tried to hold the hordes back, but they were coming. Andy learned how to use his power, involving portals. Micheal was pushed to the limit of his power, and accidently blew himself up, but taking a few nightmares with him.

Suraru, regardless of their past, was freaked out, he yelled out in vain, and tried to go down fighting next to his old friend. Andy pulled Suraru back, while both firing springer rounds, and Suraru's wind. Emily grabbed Micheals body, and Andy pulled Suraru into the portal.

The carefree cat was very mad. He lashed out at his supervisors. Micheal was dead, and they sent him to a fortress of monsters. They locked him up...

After hours of yelling and pulling on the chains, he eventually broke free, **** just got real, he busted off the door, killing one of the guards and knocking out. He charged and flew as fast as he could to where he could figure out where Andy was being held.

When he got there, he was dead, Suraru held his lifeless body, then completely lost it. Suraru had gotten close to Emily, he wouldnt let her die. Why they were doing this Suraru did not know. He busted through walls in rage, and made it to a court room, where to his surprise, his supervisor, and Emily were at.

After a few uncomfortable seconds of awkward staring, someone shot at the raged dreamkeeper and Suraru as able to dodge it, then he looked at Emily, falling... Suraru yelled as hard as he could, and busted a gust so powerful it caught on fire as it blew the faces off of the supervisors and a few troopers in the room.

Suraru escaped, and ran north, His weapon was broken, he had no life. He found a city and stayed there for a year before being kicked out because of his hostilities to authority. Eventually, his past caught up to him and he met a lot of girls in the next few years, all of them were either killed by agents, or agents trying to kill him.

He eventually found Dena, Met another girl, but left after getting fed, clothed, and a new weapon. Suraru apologized to the nice girl who found him, and left traveling further north. He became a mercenary, for the next 4 years of his life, he did small jobs to get enough money to live a happy life, a quiet life.

Just 2 more jobs left and Suraru would be able to retire, but first, he needed to bounty a guy named Johndoe (im bad with names). He found him on a lighthouse a little closer to Anduruna then conformable. Suraru flew up the the window, knocked on the glass and said "I dont want your life, but someone else does-" He was cute off as he was shot at. Suraru jumped inside and began fighting the person hand to hand. It didnt go so well after his target pulled out a large blade.

He cut Suraru's arm, his face, and a gash along his back. Suraru thought to himself 'This is going bad, i need to get ahead' Suraru pushed but was pushed back, literally, a mile or so away from the lighthouse. Suraru got up to see large girders flying at him. Suraru dodged them all the way back to the lighthouse, where he was impaled as he tried to jump back up.

Suraru fell to the ground, he got up, smiled, and knew this was the end. He had 3 kids waiting on him, his 2 boys grown up to take care of themselves, his little girl trained to take down Anduruna with his sons. Suraru pulled the blade out of his chest, held up his hand, and said "alright you win".

Johndoe stopped, and stared at the badly injured cat, He smiled and said, "Your welcome" Suraru fell back, and with the last of his strength he said "Take care of my kids for me, you'll find out soon, I know your story, you will know mine, take down that... bad place." Suraru said as he let go reality.

He looked up, and saw a light, he looked back and saw his victory, he began to travel up. The End,
of Suraru's story.
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Re: Suraru's Long long looooong backstory

Postby ilvos01 on Tue Aug 02, 2011 9:39 pm

I take it this is non-canon? Cause of, well, everything here?
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