Character Critics

Every human has their own unique persona in the DreamWorld - and, frequently, online! Come mingle with the colorful cast, and introduce your own character to the mix.

Re: Character Critics

Postby Twilight on Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:40 am

Or it could just be a side effect of using her power, in general, and she just happens to like big guns.

The thing is, the simple act of turning on the halo physically enhances a Dreamkeeper's strength, agility and resistance (this is so that they can actually withstand the epic beatings that, not only can they put each other through, but also the ones the Nightmares dish out). We haven't seen the full extent of this yet, and I... don't believe it's actually explained in V3 (though I might be wrong. it's been a while), but it IS a factoid that'll be touched on. Dave's not trying to keep it secret or anything, but there's been no real reason to discuss it in the story yet.

I just thought this bit of info might excite you to more open speculation about her character XD
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Re: Character Critics

Postby Avolendi on Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:54 am

@Boom: Typically swearing capacity is set to low. At least on the conventional/profanity part. You can of course go wild on creative but not profane swearing. Like the sort of "You eyesight is worse than the soberness of an Irishman on Saint Patricks Day" or "If you don't stop talking now, I'll keel-haul you faster than your grandmother was at knitting your sweater".

As for Vi's power, personally gunning for the weight modification one. Though other possible options... Maybe it's resizing things (which would result in the gun having a lower density as well) or it's an illusion and the gun and bullet are only mirrages.

@Twi: :shock: I'll need to think about that some more... side effect? Interesting ^^
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Re: Character Critics

Postby Wulfspyder03 on Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:44 pm

Maybe her real power is to puff out and have a full womanly body! :O (But probly not.)
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Re: Character Critics

Postby WhiteinBlack on Wed Jul 04, 2012 3:19 pm

I'm back (again). I was bored so I made this guy (girl) literally in a hour

Name: Likes Shifts

Gender: ????

Age: Judging by maturity and actions: 17ish

Related Species: ????

Power: Shifts is able to shape shift into any person (s)he see. (S)he copes everything: clothes, gender, voice, etc. Shifts takes on everything except personality. If the new form is retained longer than two minutes and thirty one seconds, the form becomes permanent until his(her) next perma-shift. Clothes can be removed once made permanent. If power is deactivates before the time limit, (s)he reverts to his(her) pervious form. Also, if the individual changed into knows his or her power, Shifts is able to use it at a minimum level.

Appearance (current): Shifts is a young girl about age thirteen. She currently has the form of a furred dolphin (minus the blowhole) on two slim legs and flipper tail. Her fur coat is sand-yellow with dull red and purple streaks on her arms and legs that climb up her neck to her eyes. Her eyes are a vibrant blue. She’s about four feet tall.

She’s currently wearing brown khaki pants with “fashionable” closed-toe sandals. A grey t-shirt with a dirt-brown jacket. Her left hand has two plain silver rings.

Bio: Shifts is quiet as well as extremely wary and introverted individual. Normally keeps to him(her)self except with Vi, the only person Shifts is willing to open up to. (S)he has great anxiety about new friends due to a unknown fear. Because of this, Shifts has trouble connecting with even good acquaintances like Bobby. (S)he does what (s)he’s told acting more of a follower than a leader. Despite this, (s)he has a bright mind and has expressed interest in astronomy. Often, spends nights memorizing the night sky. Also, has an odd interest in carpentering and woodwork, specifically couches.

Background: Not much is known about Shifts excepted her(his) name is not Likes Shifts. The name was taken from his(her) first friend and actually the one who found him(her), Viriathus, commonly known as Vi. Shifts faces the issue of amnesia. One morning, (s)he wakes up to Vi shaking her(him) without a clue why (s)he was there as well as who (s)he was. During the beginning of their friendship, Shifts was jumpy,(well, more than now), and often surprising situations turned on her(his) power frequently. Since, (s)he had no name, Shifts was named Shifts. Likes was added on later for job applications.

Because of Shifts’ ability and the lack of a really name, (s)he is unable check with records to find out. So, (s)he attends the local school near the orphanage, taking the nearby abandon ship as home. Normally, that is. When not busy with school, (s)he helps around the orphanage or looks for odd jobs. Sometimes, (s)he wanders the streets of Margate looking for some kind of clue to the past. With reluctant hope, (s)he also hopes to find out what makes him(her) so fearful about being in the open. The back of his(her) neck feels like (s)he being watched at all times.
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Re: Character Critics

Postby Reed R Gale on Wed Jul 04, 2012 4:07 pm

Hello again :D I'll read this over when I have time, but it's nice to see you here again :D
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Re: Character Critics

Postby Thegunner18 on Tue Jul 10, 2012 3:32 pm

Made up this character in about 2 days so I'd appreciate some feedback on whether or not you think it's alright. Especially the power. ^^


Name: Davin 'Dusk' Kettu
Age: 25
Species: Silver fox
Gender: Male
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 65kg

Occupation: Thief/assassin

Favoured Weapons: Bow & arrow, one-handed crossbow, daggers. In other words, any weapon that makes very little noise.

Appearance: Davin's fur consists of relatively few colours, blue, white and black, but these come together to create a unique blend which serves the young, prodigal thief very well. These three colours contribute towards a natural kind of urban camouflage, causing his fur to look almost like a work of contemporary modern art in which someone has mixed paints together and simply left it there.

With violent streaks of blue, soft smudges of steel and two parallel black stripes running from just above his eyes, over his large ears and down to the tip of his large, bushy tail, Davin finds that instead of giving him away this fur 'pattern' tends to disorientated and confuse; a perfect distraction for taking out targets. This is why he prefers not to wear anything on his upper body when he's chasing someone down, even in the winters of Ruskol.

When he takes the time to relax and recuperate, the young Fox loves wearing t-shirts of his favourite bands - melodic death and doom metal being his kind of thing. His clothing generally tends to be minimalistic, as he doesn't bother keeping an eye on what he regards as the useless, idiot-saturated fashion market.

His features all seem to be very streamlined and sharp, almost as if they were designed by something or someone to cut through the air with ease, speed and precision. His eyes glow a rich, deep green when enveloped in any sort of darkness; a natural reaction that he could never control. Or, rather, he hasn't attempted to, but seeing fairly well in the dark is something he's completely ok with so having a side effect of glowing eyes isn't a problem for him.

Physical Strength may not be in Davin's favour in a fight but his speed, agility, stamina and mental strength are all weapons in their own right if he can use them properly; he's always eager to prove people wrong when they make remarks about his height, no matter who that person is

Personality: Surprisingly friendly and caring, you'll often find that Davin can be a very happy person to be around, always willing to talk about things. However, his moods can sway quite dramatically if you get on his bad side. One second you could be having a perfectly normal conversation with him but the second after could see you on the floor with a dagger pressed against your neck; offending him is usually not the best idea.

Davin also suffers from paranoia, so he finds it quite difficult to trust people he's only met a few times. Even those who he knows well won't easily be able to gain his trust, but he says that's what you get for becoming friends with an assassin. Obviously, he's always very careful about who he actually reveals that information to.

Biography: Born into a family with parents who are wealthy business owners in the district of Margate, Davin lived a very normal life without any trouble whatsoever. Both his Mother and Father were eager to give Davin - their only child - the best education possible, so sending him to a well-known private school seemed the obvious choice.

For a time, the innocent Fox was happy to be where he was; he had made quite a few good friends with a particularly close group of friends of 4 'Keepers. Like almost any young teens, they were devious, but it was perhaps them more than anyone else in the school who proved to be a pain in the neck for many of the teachers. Still, it was nothing serious. Adventuring was the name of the game for them. Davin would have quickly snapped up the opportunity to carry on that way of life. However, it all changed on his 15th birthday.

During a visit back home to Margate in the winter holidays - he was at a boarding school -, his house was broken into by two robbers, each armed with a springer rifle. Both were about 40 years old and were clearly experienced in completely removing emotion from their actions. This was demonstrated with the utmost efficiency, as, without even hesitating, the two 'Keepers simultaneously fired a single springer round straight into the centre of his Parents' heads, killing them instantly, and then proceeded to do what robbers do best.

For reasons that were unknown to Davin, they didn't kill him. Perhaps they didn't perceive him as a threat to their heist. Or maybe they just...ran out of springer ammunition. Either way, they spared him, although he wasn't about to thank them for that. Then again, maybe he should have; it gave Davin a reason to achieve something in his life. It gave him a goal to aim for. His logic was to fight fire with fire. Of course, he aimed to become the most dangerous fire out there; a fire that could devour anything that decided to get on his bad side.

Giving everyone no warning whatsoever, he disappeared from school and, in fact, everywhere else, too. He began teaching himself the arts of a thief, relying heavily on those skills to survive out in the open world; to survive in his new life. He vowed never to become a mindless, cold-blooded killer like them, his actions never escalating to more than petty crime for him to survive. Well, during his younger years that was the case, anyway...

It was when he began to mature into an adult at around 19 or 20 that he realised the only way he was going to get anywhere close to enacting revenge on those who killed his parents was to become more like them. He needed to remove some of that mercy and sympathy he had held onto so dearly and start taking contracts from some very shifty, suspicious characters. It paid surprisingly well and he needed that money to further his own personal quest. At first, killing innocent people was...difficult, but getting used to it wasn't too hard to do.

Eventually, Davin had accumulated enough money to buy a flat in the district of Talocan; he'd stayed well out of the public eye so he could quite easily walk in amidst a crowd without being recognised but the night was his new best friend. The young assassin's natural ability to see in the dark gives him a great advantage which is exactly why he spends most of his time in the dark.

Power: The ability to distort himself and the background he’s standing against to confuse and surprise enemies. In reality he isn’t distorting anything; he’s only affecting the minds of those who are looking directly at him. Therefore, the distortion doesn’t come into effect if you see him in your peripheral vision or off of a reflective surface such as a mirror.
Davin has only touched slightly on his power but hasn’t realised yet.
Last edited by Thegunner18 on Tue Aug 07, 2012 7:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Character Critics

Postby Avolendi on Thu Jul 12, 2012 6:38 pm

Sounds nice and balanced. The only comment I can think of is that his power fits a bit too well with his personal history, but that's all.
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Re: Character Critics

Postby Kailash on Fri Jul 13, 2012 1:07 am

I finally took some time to write a more detailed Bio of my main char, but I'd like some feedback. I don't write or do much creative stuff, so I find it hard to come up with stuff like this, so I'd like to know what you guys think :D


First Name: Valen

Full Name: Valen Ardin Shardstone

Age: 19

Sex: Male

Species: Anthropomorphic Winged Dragon

Length: (Metric) 2.05 Meter. (Imperial) 6' 8.7"

Current Occupation: Delivery for CAA, Central Anduruna Airmail.

Tall and quite muscled, and has a rather giant tail, which ends up being sweeped across the floor almost always.
His head is shaped much like a dog's, and has 2 horns which stick out backwards, nearly horizontically. His eyes are entirely Blue, and bioluminescant*, except for the black vertical slits of his pupils.
He is covered with small grey scales, which slightly vary in darkness.
His tail however has larger scales, resembling a plate-mail cover, with a slightly lighter color.
He has 2 cobalt blue bioluminescent Wave patterns on his back, starting on his neck, up to the tip of his tail. They cross eachother on his tail, forming a Chained 8 figure.
Near the tip of his tail are 2 horns, which are sticking out sidewards on both sides of his tail.
His legs are in a digitigradal stance, and his feet are rather large. His claws are also a deep blue, with the same bioluminescence as his eyes, on both his hands and feet.

He is actually forced to wear nothing but cargo shorts, as his wings prevent any kind of shirts etc, and his feet are too large for any ordinary shoes.
He also wears a rather thick metal chain, with a piece of scrap plate metal with Valen scratched into it.

Rather friendly, even to people he doesn't know. He can get annoyed quite fast though.
He is a quite protective to friends and family, which can get a bit annoying for them from time to time.
He gets pissed rather fast if he is forced to walk instead of flying somewhere, for example by storms.

His parents were just an ordinary couple, living in the Kojiki district.
Valen grew up with a pretty standard life, until his father went missing. He'd gone out hiking in the Starfall mountains area with 2 friends of him,
and after 2 days in their supossed 4 day trip, his 2 friends woke up, to see his Father missing, along with all his belongings. They presumed somebody might've kidnapped him, as they weren't camping far from a town nearby, which was well known for it's crime.
The odd thing though, was that all their belongings were still there, but all the belongings of his father were gone, except his tent. A search went on for 2 weeks, until they had covered the entire nearby area, adn they just didn't have any ideas where to look anymore.
This made Valen rather depressed, at the age of 13 then. His mother had to work alot to keep up with the costs, and Valen spent alot of time at home alone.
To help his mom out, he started with small jobs at the age of 15. When he was 19, he moved out with his best friend, Kazuma Inukai**, whom he had known from the age of 9, and Kazuma was only 2 years younger than him.
He has since lived with him in a reasonably small appartement in the coastal area of the Kojiki District.
Now 21, he still lives in the same appartement with him, working Delivery jobs for a living.

Illusion; The gift of deceipt and trickery. He can use this to make illusional objects, persons or animals appear, or hide such from view, from whoever he decides.
He can only use this for a limited time, depending on how many people he is showing, or hiding the illusion, and the size of said illusion. He can also use this to make illusionary sounds, making the illusion as real as can be.
However, touching the illusion gives away the true nature, as they aren't in any way solid.
Using this power doesn't only make his Halo appear, but also causes his eyes, claws, and markings on his back to give off their Bioluminescence rather brightly, while they generally only do so at night, or in dark areas.

Cobalt Blue.


* Bioluminescence: Reaction in pigments in skin with Oxygen to make "Cold" light. Cold meaning it doesn't give off heat like other light sources.
** Kazuma Inukai: Actually another character of mine.


I beleive that covers everything, but as history shows, I generally forget tidbits here and there. If so I'll edit them in there.
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Re: Character Critics

Postby Avolendi on Fri Jul 13, 2012 12:59 pm

Looks good.

For clothing however it shouldn't be that big a deal to get custom clothing that would fit and accomodate wings. It's already known that there is a vibrant market for custom clothing because there there's hardly a normal standard for clothing shapes and sizes.

For example something like a vest which in the back is connected above the wings, open in the middle and has some straps or so at the bottom.

As for the shoes I'd suggest saying that he doesn't need them, if mentioning them at all (it's not exactly a requirement or even standard in the Andurunian society).

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Re: Character Critics

Postby Kailash on Fri Jul 13, 2012 4:41 pm

Yeah, I was thinking about those two in my head, but I couldn't get any ideas that would look good on him in my mind :P
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