Awesome IRL quotes/comebacks

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Awesome IRL quotes/comebacks

Postby Twilight on Thu Oct 28, 2010 12:37 pm

Ok, So, I'm sitting in my classroom at the moment. It's break time, so everyone's just kind of mingling, and our professor is awesome, so she brought us Halloween candy to munch on 8D But anyway, something awesome just happened that gave me the idea for this thread, hopefully it'll pick up some interesting stuff 8D

As I mentioned, everyone's just kind of mingling at the moment. During breaks, sometimes people like to go to the store across the street and buy something. One of the girls in class just came back from there with a lemonade or something.

The girl to my right, who I presume is her friend just called her out and very seriously asks. "So where's mine?"

and just as seriously, the girl with the lemonade responds with "I don't love you enough" and sat down.

You can imagine the laughter that ensued, class-wide, after the comedic pause. 8D

So, let loose! have you heard anything awesome like that recently? Have you said anything awesome like that recently? If so, post it here! XD
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Re: Awesome IRL quotes/comebacks

Postby Sorrel on Thu Oct 28, 2010 1:32 pm

I feel compelled to tell this story now.

So I have these two friends back home -- one of whom is known for hitting the nearest moving object with pencils, pens, pendants, nerf swords, plastic sporks, etc. (Anything she has on hand.) The other is known for having no sense of humor in any situation.

So Hit-Girl and The Stiff are sitting at the lunch table. Hit-Girl has gotten her hands on a spork and now proceeds to make a target of The Stiff's arm. He sits there, very calmly staring at her. Then he grabs the spork and wrests it from her grasp.

Hit-Girl pulls the most pathetically adorable puppy face I've ever seen and asks,"Why do you hate me?"

The Stiff glares, puts the spork to her throat and answers, "Because my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

The fact that this random movie/book reference came out of this particular person's mouth set everyone cracking up. Especially because of the deadpan delivery.
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Re: Awesome IRL quotes/comebacks

Postby delta on Sat Oct 30, 2010 12:00 am

*For almost any question that is targeting your sanity, such as "are you retarded?"*

Why yes. Yes I am.
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Re: Awesome IRL quotes/comebacks

Postby LollipopArcana on Wed May 09, 2012 6:26 pm

In response to a boy flirting with me: "Some girls have a friendzone. I have a killzone."
bdum-tsh! :D
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Re: Awesome IRL quotes/comebacks

Postby Hazzardous on Sun May 20, 2012 2:19 pm

I do have one that was ad-hoced with my little sister who knows parkour:

Little Sis: Jon, can you drop me off at the plaza?

Me: Sure, but I won't be able to pick you back up.

Little Sis: Really?

Me: Sorry...guess you'll have to parkour your *** home XD

we actually had this exchange in front of two other family members and we all just laughed our assess off. The punchline I spit out was just random, but the execution was dead-on :roll:
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Re: Awesome IRL quotes/comebacks

Postby Wulfspyder03 on Sat Jun 09, 2012 9:36 am

Alright, this happened the other day during my four hour stay in machine-shop, and it's a bit hint-hint but all in good fun.

So, I'm working on a 4 and 1/2 inch steel shaft, using cutting tools to make it thinner and add screw threads so that a nut can be twisted onto it and make it viable for holding something down or together. While I'm cleaning off the cutting work I had just done trying to get the threads right, one of my shopmates comes over and leans against the back of the cutting machine. He says to me "That looks pretty good" and proceeds to feel the threads with his hand while the machine is still on and the piece of shafting is still spinning. I couldn't help myself saying "I appreciate you liking it, but please take your hand off my shaft, man."

The best part, he looked me at for half a second before he started laughing. And it took me about five seconds to realize what I had said.
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Re: Awesome IRL quotes/comebacks

Postby Dream-Weaver on Thu Nov 01, 2012 8:52 pm

Not something that was said, but I found a sign duct taped to a water fountain earlier today, I took a pitcure of it, but I can't figure out how to upload it, but this is what it said


I'm not sure if I can trust you...
I've been lied to before...

Dear user,
I am sorry you're hurt. I know it's
scary, but sometimes you just have to jump,
expecting that we'll be there to catch you.
That's what life is all about.

Again, I just found this duct taped to a water fountain...

People are awesome!
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Re: Awesome IRL quotes/comebacks

Postby MandyHabato on Sat Nov 24, 2012 8:22 pm

Okay, so, earlier today my mom bought this neck thing that you heat up and put across your neck. it's styled like a tiger and everything. we were showing it to my dad. He's a real jerk a lot, and kinda has a big chip on his shoulder and distrusts the world, but he has a decent sense of humor..

anyway, I, wanting to show my dad how it works, puts it on his neck, across his shoulders, with the 'head' of it on one shoulder. We just kind a laugh, cuz he's just sitting there, staring at us, kinda-sorta smiling. As I said before, he has a kind chip on his shoulder about the world and whatnot.

My mom is then like "Yeah, there's nothing like a tiger sitting on your shoulder'
I grin and whisper to her, "Well, maybe it'll push the chip off."

She CRACKS UP. I quickly flee to the kitchen, since I have NO IDEA how he'll react when I hear my mom repeating it to him, but he just gets up and smiles at me over the counter.

I get so happy when I actually make up a good funny add-on or comeback on the spot. sad thing is, it's always directed at dad, and inside my house. TuT
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Re: Awesome IRL quotes/comebacks

Postby IronFox on Sun Jan 13, 2013 7:44 pm

I generally wear a kilt (when it's not cold out).

The reasons for doing so are various: They're comfy, they're awesome, and random people give me high fives.

That said, I am predominantly besieged by folks asking me the common out-person question: "What do you wear beneath your kilt?"

After getting fed up with those questions (You don't ask a person wearing pants if they're wearing underwear, that's just rude), I came up with my stock answer.

Everytime folks ask me what I wear under my kilt, I simply tell them "Lipstick".
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Re: Awesome IRL quotes/comebacks

Postby Reed R Gale on Sun Jan 13, 2013 8:49 pm

That counts as awesome in my book. ^
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